Product of Surrealness

My dreams are alive.

I find myself solving more problems in my sleep than I do in my wakefulness. It seems that the dream version of me has developed admirably. He is quite, the remarkable man, I truly do envy him. Jealous even, so much so, that I bring myself awake; to stop him from accomplishing his current goal at the time. Even after, becoming so close and watching countless nights of him working towards it; I do my best to try and steal that gratification away from him.

The last dream I had, he managed to get married without my blessing. He was enjoying his honeymoon in the Maldives. The man is truly living the life. He has a wonderful career as a animal biologist, he is a coach for a local youth sports team, and his name is known around the poker community. If that wasn’t enough, I think the fact that makes me the most envious, is the fact that the man is able to create healthy friendships and maintains all the relationships, he has ever had with people.

Dream me, has a group of friends that loves him. In a dream, he threw a house warming party for his first home. A beautiful place at that, and all of his family and friends were there. I can’t imagine having my mom near my friends. They all played football and other games. They raced and unsurprisingly, he won. Of course, he was the fastest of them all. At the end of the night, he was able to play poker with all of his closest friends and family. It was the most wholesome and loving scene, I have had ever experienced.

In another dream, he was helping a young lost calf find her owner. He saw her wandering around his backyard. He walked with her for miles, farm to farm, looking for its owner. After hours of searching, he was able to find the calf’s owner. With his luck, the owner turned out to be his future best friend. They trade cheese and milk every chance they get. Recently, last week she gifted him, a handmade trapper hat out of sheepskin. The exact kind of hat I would want.

In one dream, the man was visiting his parents and took them to the city. They went to a tennis match, that his mother has always wanted to go. While, I’m still waiting on the day; that I will be able to take my mom to the place of her dreams.

In the first ever dream, he met the girl of his life and they have been together in every dream since then. Their love has never faded and she has been with him throughout everything. Even I love her as if she was real. I can go on and on about my dreams. My dream life has become fully filled with experiences that I have never felt before. Nothing, I have experienced comes close, to what my dream self has already had.

I am starting to wonder if my dream life is real. Why is it that these dreams has turned into new memories? Has my mind decided to allocate all of its focus on the imaginary?

With so much time being filled with disillusion, is it possible that my actual life has lost all purpose. Why should I strive to accomplish anything; when my dream self has already done it for me? What does it mean to accomplish anything? Is it all about the materiality of accomplishments: the money, the plaques, the certification, the printed paper that says; congratulations.

In my dreams, I am the person that I always wanted to be and that is enough for me. I wonder if I dream about me. Do I ever think about the dreams of me. Would I question the things about me? I wouldn’t care. Why should I care about what happens in my sleep. I am happy with my life. Who cares if my dream self is suffering. Dream me doesn’t want to be me but I do…

Am I only, the product of my own surrealness.

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