The sky is dark grey with the clouds covering the ground. Sergy is walking through the snowy streets of his hometown dressed in all black. He doesn’t seem scared about the news of the recent muggings in the area. Sergy stops in the middle of the road where he pulls out his phone and a cigarette.
“Where is it?”, Sergy says as he looks around him panicked. He spots an idle car and rushes towards it. He pulls open the door.
” Oh my god, don’t do that man! Fuck, you scared the fuck out of me”, yells the driver. Sergy straps on his seat belt and replies as he rubs his hands. “Dude, you the one that got me outside in this fucking cold. And you don’t even have the heat on, like what the fuck!?”
Sergy turns on the heater and keeps his hands in front it. The driver in a semi- sarcastic tone states ” it’s not even cold outside”. Sergy with a stunned expression on his face says ” You not dead ass.” The driver laughs and pulls out a pipe. “So do you got the lighter?” Sergy digs through his pockets. “Yeah I got it right here.”
The two proceed to smoke out of a red shaped scorpion pipe. They talk about trivial things for the duration of their smoke session. Sergy sighs loudly. The driver notices and asks him “what”. Sergy looks outside as he watches the snow fall from the head of God.
“I think that I’m going to have leave forever.”
“I did something really bad. Something so bad that I can’t even tell you.”
“You’re being dramatic. I doubt that it can be that bad.”
“BUT… It is. Plus if I tell you then you would know and… if the cops were to question you and you decided not tell then you can be arrested too. It’s the best choice I can make. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“Well I don’t understand. To me, it seems like you’re just making an excuse because you don’t want to hang out anymore.”
“Believe me it’s not that.”
There’s resentment in the air coming from the driver. “I think I’m going to leave now” the driver said. A saddend Sergy turns to the driver who doesn’t look his way. “But weren’t we going to go? He said puzzled. The driver continues to not look his way. “I changed my mind.”
“I promise. Once I know it’s safe to tell you, I will.” The driver replies devoid of all emotions “sure”.
Sergy gets out of the car and not even a second after he closes the door, does the driver speeds away off to the snowy night. Sergy walks back home and stares at himself in the mirror.
“That was the right thing to do.” He says trying to convince himself if it really was.
“It’s better that I keep you out of my mess”. He tells himself after realizing that he and only he can keep this secret.
“I hope you will forgive me”. His voice cracks as he thinks that the driver hates him.
Sergy takes one more deep glance into his own soul. He smiles to remind himself that he still can. After a blink, his face is expressionless.
There is not a doubt in my mind that Sergy is now dead inside. Sergy needs help. I’m glad Sergy feels like this because it means that his conscious is still at work. Fyodor Dostoevsky once said –
If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be his punishment-as well as the prison.
Sergy will never be free and I hope he never is because the day he is, is the day he will lose his humanity and fall into the darkness that goes far beyond Hell.
Sergy to this day, still has not told me his secret.