I want drugs so fucking bad. I want to drink so fucking bad. I want to break someone’s car window so fucking bad. I am going mad cooped in this fucking basement. I don’t get how you cannot want to do bad things. This is so dumb. Sobriety is one thing but being bored out of your fucking mind is another. How can one talk and not feel like its pointless. How can you stand there knowing that it does not matter. None of it matters. I want to overdose on drugs already. I want to see colors again. I want to strive for nothing in the future.
That was yesterday. Today, I don’t feel any of those emotions or have any of those thoughts. At this point, its mute to talk about these things. Since, it is a topic that has no end. You can go on and on for hours about it and you’ll never be satisfied with the end. When you’re done how will you feel? Did you catch a revelation? Did you feel a break through? Did you learn anything?
I am glad to have people by my side who care about me and that I can always talk to. If it wasn’t for that, I will definitely be down in the dumps.
Thank you guys.