Hello, (this is a long story)
I will describe my experience the past eighteen days. I cannot see far with my own eyes. My nose does not smell the same way your does. Now, this is what happened.
Three times; I wanted to commit suicide, three times. I was overcome with an unimaginable type of sadness, that, no words can ever truly express, the pain. When I got to the point, where I couldn’t do this no longer. I dropped the pills in the toilet, I stepped off the ledge and I parked the car. Each time, I felt a life changing thought within me and came to a conclusion. That life, is too beautiful to give up on. That, I want to see how this story ends. That, I couldn’t put the people I love in a situation where it can’t be fixed. I could never do it. I could never kill myself. I found myself always saying “I was bugging for even thinking that was an option”.
What is that? How can a person feel so strongly about taking their life, to changing their mind and saying life is great.
The last experience I had as a broken person was this. I found out that the person I cared so deeply for, did not care about me any longer. It killed me. I died. There was nothing I could do. The situation was totally out of my control. I decided to take control. I gave myself some new scars. The pain was temporary and intense. Still not close, to losing this person. “I will never cry ever again”. I gave up. I started to go through everything that went wrong and the cause. I wanted to change for myself. To get out of this cycle, to get out of this despair. To finally be alive again. I closed my eyes and went through memories and came to the conclusion. “That being ethical is the way to go.”
Now. This is what happened next.
I was completely awake with my eyes closed. I felt myself vibrating. I felt my body being lifted and placed onto a dissecting table. It was like being at the dentist expect I was strapped to the table. Two aliens came, they were like static blurs with human silhouettes.
They said this to me.
“We have been watching you, your entire life. We know everything about you. We want to help you. We want to help you accomplish all your dreams.”
Panicked and scared, I said, “what are you talking about?”
“Calm down.” We truly just want to help.”
Still panicked and scared, I said, “oh my god, what is this?
Then a demonic deep voice spoke to me in my right ear and said ” I will be here forever if you do not calm down”.
I said, “Oh lord alright I do not want that”. I took three deep breaths and I asked them questions.
“Who are you”? They didn’t answer.
“What do you want?” To help you, they said.
“Why me?” The aliens both turned to each other and said, “we just like you. We think you are one of the most original people, out in the world and we wanted to help”.
I said, “thank you”. They told me, “no thank you. We truly love watching you.”
Then I asked, “so everything I want is going to come true”. “Yes”, they said.
We talked more about the specifics and asked if they knew all the bad stuff I did. They said, “yes”. I was ashamed then they said, “it does not matter as long as you learned from it and make positive changes to never let it happen again.”
From there, I was convinced that this was true and not my imagination. I let myself go into their trance and once they were done. I slowly opened my eyes and I was home.
The next week, everything about my life changed, my outlook, my perspective, my mindset, my actions, all of it changed. Life was and still is peaceful and no longer do I go through waves of emotions.
My obsessiveness, my hate and my doubts were gone like the air I exhale. I inhale the trust and exhale the doubt. From there, I met my alien. I named him Soyffy. I talked to him, whenever I had any questions and/or wanted some assurance with choices I made. This later ends up being my higher inner self. This was not an alien. It was me. Now, I don’t talk to myself. I do, whatever my gut tells me to do.
The biggest thing that happened was, when fate told me to go and drop off this package and boom YOU were there. What are the chances of that? That was all the proof I needed. I was on the right path making the right choices. Other aspects of my life, started to fall into place and now I see the end goal clearer than ever, with you in it. This was unfortunate. I grew impatient and started to grow doubt again. Until recently when this happened.
This time, it was a dream. I was with my friend showing pictures of you from the years 2015 -2017 at a party. I told him, that none of it matters because this is going to happened. He said “what is going to happened”. Then, a UFO appeared in the sky out of thin air. Everyone was screaming and panicking. I was vibrating and letting out a high pitched frequency. I felt myself being teleport-ed onto the table I was on before. The aliens, this time weren’t shadows but I cannot recall how they looked like. We joked, about how people cannot stay calm because of their first instinct to be fearful of the unknown. I looked around and didn’t see my friend and I started to raise some concerns. They said ” do not worry, that my friend is with the other non-believers and that he will be fine along with the rest”. At ease, I asked “what is this all for?” My mind starting to turn on and it was like searching something up on google inside my head. I have no idea what it was searching. After, they told me, that the secret to this world was the many worlds interpretations, I said they will never believe me without proof. They said no worries you will receive your proof soon. From there, they put me back into a trance and said, on the count of three open your eyes.
It was around five in the morning. I texted my friend about what happened. And that was that.
Yesterday. After a full day of wondering why YOU haven’t contacted me yet. I saw this video on tik-tok. It explained this to me. ” That the reason, it hasn’t happened yet, is because you ( I ) still are trying to control a person and not give them complete freedom of choice. That I must truly let you decide what you want.
I let you go. The universe has told me to wait for two weeks until I receive an answer. On Sunday, I will know. I will accept whatever comes next. No matter what. I completely give up trying to control the universe.
I decided to write this, before I read this book. Because this book has this phrase that I feel may change everything about who I am.
I let you free. I let myself free. I let fate decide the future. I will continue on towards my end goal. I have no hopes or wishes. I trust the process completely and forever.