5 New Scars

Hi,

I see that you no longer want to be my friend. Can’t wait to see how this wound heals. I can come back from heartbreak. This isn’t that. You are my BEST FRIEND. Now I have to drown this pain like a unwanted baby. Struggling around in my mind and hurting my soul. All I can do is pick up the pieces and hope I know how to put it back together. This is…

Ouch! A reactionary, impulsive and stupid choice. I’m sorry I promised you, I would never do it again. Hello? You’re not here anymore, so what happens to our promises now. Does it all go down to the shit-house? I trusted you. You even showed me genitalia of a stranger and said that “if I saw it then I have to see it too”. Now I have a dick in my head. Now I feel like a dickhead. Now I’m sad because that was the last time we talked. Talking about another man’s dick.

It hurts. I burned myself three times on my left ankle. For the three years that went well. Two times on my left hand to remind myself, that this is what happens when you let yourself be consumed by another. The wound is open flesh and when it heals, it’ll remind me that I didn’t taste good enough for you. How do I move on? Who do I go to? You were that person for me.

I can’t stand this! In the end, I know what my feelings are. I know I have to move on. I know I have to give up on us. I know what is happening. I have five new scars and I wish for you to say “I always loved you”

Betrayed and hurt. This is what I feel. Right now all I want to do is give myself 5 New Scars.

To forget about you.

Forever Always,

Your sheep.

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