Hate the Tropics

It’s too hot, the air is too humid, I can barely breathe in these conditions. The trees don’t even have the right kind of leaves on them. I hate this place, every second I’m here I feel the life force getting sucked out of me because of these fucking mosquitos. Vile, blood sucking creature how can anyone in their right state of the mind possibly enjoy this.

Dad, you haven’t left your room since you got here.

That’s because I do not need or want to stay another second out there. I want to go back to the cold where I can feel my toes getting numb and I have to wear 3 layers of socks. I want to put on my favorite sweater and snuggle with your grandma while we watch the final season of Bojack. I want to shovel snow out the driveway so until it starts snowing I will be in here with the air conditioning.

Okay dad I’ll leave you here then, said the son.

How is he? ; questioned his wife.

Well he still thinks that we’re somewhere in the tropics.

Well, are you gonna tell him that we haven’t left?

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