Addict’s thought

Sober thoughts with a dead mind, is it still possible to see beauty in life. No joy comes from just watching life as it passes by but no more joy can come from watching life high. One day you will go blind, no longer breathing but that doesn't scare this guy. What scares me is the depression, a sickness that can fill you with un-needed bitterness. The high's thoughts of an addict may not be beneficial but one high thought can lead to a lifetime of work to make that thought a reality.
I feel normal but it's cold and I'm not wearing a thermal so maybe that is why I'm not needed like her math journal.